College Prep For Parents
At Shanghai American School, we see the college journey as more than deadlines and rankings. It is a family conversation that benefits from clear information, early planning, and a little perspective. That is the spirit behind the SAS College Counseling Parent Book Club, hosted monthly by our College Counseling team.
In Puxi, College Counselor Said Ghorayeb is leading parents through an engaging read of Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be. His sessions mix data with heart, always returning to the student at the center. “What we hear most from students is simple: ‘I want to make my parents proud.’” he said. To help families anchor that message, Mr. Ghorayeb shared a tradition he encourages for senior parents: write your child a letter before decisions arrive. "Let them know that your pride in them does not hinge on an admission outcome. Tell them: 'Whether or not you get accepted does not determine how proud we are of who you have become.'"
Mr. Ghorayeb also challenged parents to think about the purpose of college. While students will of course gain knowledge and skills, they also gain perspective learning alongside classmates with different histories and resources. Where a student enrolls matters less than how they engage, the mentors they find, the habits they build, and the values they carry forward.
In Pudong, College Counselor Ben O’Brien is guiding families through The Truth about College Admission. He began by naming what every parent and student can feel but cannot always see: “There are parts of the process you can control and parts you cannot,” he said. “Your courses, essays, and preparation are yours. Institutional priorities, supply and demand are not.” Mr. O’Brien encouraged parents to start with why rather than where. To talk openly about best fit and growth, and to remember how much the landscape has shifted since many adults last applied to college.
Parents say the sessions bring relief and clarity. Kitty Li, a senior parent who has attended since last year, shared, “the real-life cases put everything in perspective. Parents hear a lot from many sources, but being in the room together and hearing the counselors puts things in context. It helps us think about how we will behave and react during our child’s senior year.” She added that starting early matters: “If you wait until the anxiety builds, you have to undo that first. The more we hear SAS’s voice early, the better.”
What emerges each month is a shared message. Begin with values, focus on what students can control, widen the definition of success, and lead with love that is obvious in words and actions. Parents leave with insight, perspective, and a steadier path forward. No matter what grade your child is in, you are welcome to join the conversation at the next College Counseling Book Club!
